Best and Worst of 2011

2011 began with a hangover of Sheila Ki Jawaani and ends with the thumkas of Chikni Chameli. 2011 had its ups and downs while some set the screen on fire and some put the industry to shame, .

Chammak Challo and Silk Balan blew our mind when they shook their booty. Imran and team gave a hit from shit. A Bollywood Hero became a Hollywood Extra. Internet Servers crashed when Indian Audience tried to checkout the "Acting skills" of Bigg Boss's latest entrant Sunny (Hot) Leone. And national anthem of the country was changed overnight Di.

Head turners of 2011

• Delhi Belly - Even when Shit Happened I was Rolling on the Floor laughing
• Fast Five - Feel the speed Feel the rush
• Pyaar Ka Punchnaama - Behind every unsuccessful man is also a woman
• The Devil's Double - Stupendous acting
• Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara - Story of our lives
• Dirty Picture - Her Boobs couldnot stop staring at my eyes
• Shor in the City - The Darkhorse
• Kolaveri Di - Took charge from DK Bose as the latest National Anthem
• Chammak Challo - Babu Rao too danced when Kareena danced
• Sunny(Hot) Leone - Best thing to happen to Indian Small Screen...and is the Future Coach for Indian Cricket Team...Fine Leg and Deep Mid Wicket are her favorite positions
• Chikni Chameli  - "Shake that biscuit Baby ! Shake it for me"
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -2 - A great way to end

Dump Them

• Mission Impossible 4 - Ghost Protocol - Tom Cruise has lost it
• Anil Kapoor - A Jhakaas performance as an extra in Hollywood
• Game - What a Shame
• Desi Boyz - WTF
• Don 2 - Gone too
• Ra.one - Ra.gone

Don-2...You can miss this too

Don Ka Intezaar gyaraah mulkon ki police kar rahi hai, mein bhi kar raha hoon, mujhe Ra.one aur Don -2 ke paise vaapas chahiye.

Tom Cruise forgot the signature scenes of MI series in MI-4 and Farhan shamelessly copies these scenes and a collage of scenes  from Matrix, Ocean's 11 and The Rock series onto Don-2 and presents a dragging storyline with no substance.
             

          Don-2 The King is Back, turn your backs to the King.

The movie begins from an island in Thailand and travels to the prison in Malaysia and moves on to end at Berlin. Boman and SRK escape from the prison in Malaysia and plan a heist at Berlin. The car chase and a jump from the Berlin building are the highlight of the movie. These scenes are a toddlers step by Bollywood to make a real action thriller. The rest of the movie is no different from any other Indian Movie (all hype no substance). Die Hard was set in a single building and it keeps you at the edge of the seats till the end of the movie even today.The second half set in a Bank in Berlin kills your patience with its endless and slow pace.

Music is average, story is boring, Boman and Kunal Kapoor's potential is wasted, Priyanka's large lips covers  the screen more than her, Lara Dutta doesnot offer us much. All the cheesy dialogues and the screen space belongs to SRK all through the movie. A perfect recipe to give it a miss.

And if you still decide to go for the movie, donot miss the song sequence when the credits roll at the end of the movie. Seeing Priyanka getting down on all her fours in 3D is worth your 2 1/2 hours of patience.

Think About It: With such a boring narration - "Don - 2 ka hit hona mushkil hi nahin naamumkin hain"

Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol (Tom Cruise has lost it)

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves a grinding torture for 2 hours in your favourite movie hall.
                                                 -Agent Ethan Hunt

Tom Cruise has completely lost it. He makes it a Mission Impossible for us to watch the worst of the installments of the MI-series. The action sequences have been conceptualized to the minutest of the detail, beautifully shot and adeptly edited to make you sit at the edge of your seat. As the action sequences push you to the edge of the seat, the lame dialogues and forced sub plots force you to walk away from the dragging storyline.

Action sequence start from the rooftop of a building in Budapest and moves on to the prison in Moscow and rides on the windows of the world's tallest building in Dubai before ending in a parking lot supposedly located in India. Tom Cruise has forgotten everything from choosing the right director (John Woo was the best in MI-2), to the right co-producer (Paula Wagner) to the right sidekicks (Ving Rhames appears only in the end for less than 2 minutes) except the best action team.

Brad Bird is the worst choice as the director. His animation movies Ratatouile and Incredibles are one of my favourite movies, but his first action venture doesnot live upto the hype created. The next worst choice is Anil Kapoor as the Billionaire from Mumbai. Even the gloves used to climb the world's tallest building seems to have been picked from the china market.

Mr.Hunt, Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves in getting John Woo back as the Director, Paula Wagner as the Co-Producer and Ving Rhames as the sidekick.  And Every search for a hero must begin with something which every hero requires, a villain. So, choose your villain wisely next time.

Watching MI-4 was Mission Impossible for me. The movie poster says, No Plan, No Backup, No Choice. Well you have  a choice, stay back home, rent MI-2 dvd and enjoy the adrenaline rush.


Think About It: If Tom Cruise ends up choosing the wrong crew again for MI-5, the franchisee will self-destruct in the next 5 seconds.

The Dirty Picture - Entertainment, Entertainment and Entertainment

Is Sex Dirty? Only if it's done right.

                                                  - Woody Allen

No wonder the movie has been named "The Dirty Picture", as Vidya did it right this time. (Remember she had also slept with her co-characters in Parineeta, Ekalavya, Paa and Ishqiya, but had never been called Dirty)

The movie is loosely based on story of Silk Smitha, The Item Girl of South Indian Movies. Vidya is no match to the sensation of Sleaze and Seduction which only Silk could create with such ease. Men would go crazy each time Silk bit her lips (her signature style) or when she seduced her co-stars with her killing looks. Yesteryear Item Girls Silk Smitha, Disco Shanti and Jayamalini will always remain my favourites.

Having said that, there are only 3 ingredients which guarantees the success of this movie

• Vidya Silk Balan
• Vidya Silk Balan 

And More

• Vidya Silk Balan

 You will fall in love with this Dirty Girl yet again as she gets into the character and delivers a powerhouse performance. You just cannot take your eyes off her as she puts the screen on fire with her voluptous figure, heavy bosom thumping and some very bold dialogue delivery. Only Vidya could have carried off this role with such conviction.

Vidya as Reshma (village girl) or as Silk (item girl) is the masala factor of the movie and the scenes she is not present tastes bland. The ever dependable Naserrudin as Suryakant, The Superstar, makes up for all the intimate scenes he lost in Ishqiya. Tushar Kapoor as Naseruddin's brother has nothing much to offer. Emraan for a change has done a good job.

The bold dialogues by Rajat Arora complement the sensuous avatar of Vidya. Ooh-La-La song makes up for the otherwise average music by Vishal-Shekar.

Vidya Silk Balan gives every item girl in Bollywood run for their money when she dances draped in a wet red saree. This is the paisa vasool scene of the movie.(Watch it to believe it).

Hope Vidya takes on more roles like this and gets more Dirty.

Get Dirty with this Dirty Girl. Its worth your money

Think About It:  Curves had almost vanished with most females wanting to get to Size Zero. Thanks to Vidya, Dangerous Curves will prevail again.

Desi Boyz- Disaster No.1

Most of you know David Dhawan as the King of Direction of Mindless comedies (most of which were called No.1). His No.1 "Production" is also a mindless comedy called 'Rohit Dhawan', who has been a No.1 disaster.


Like Father Like Son. Rohit Dhawan has given a movie with no logic, brainless comedy, 2 male strippers and 2 extremely hot chics (who i wish had been the strippers) and some unnecessary but foot tapping music by Pritam.

Rohit fails miserably in all the departments. He doesnot build on the characters and I never felt connected to any of the characters or the story. The Bollywood mantra says "More skin showed, more money earned". And the director makes a joke of himself with  skin show by Akshay and John as Rocco and Hunter, the male strippers. Rohit is a disaster in trying to develop the BROmance .Even Barney Stinson agrees that BROmance is the patented right of the Akhtars.

Akshay stresses that he is bankable in comedy acts, John reminds us that he cannot act in any genre, Deepika could have as well showed us more skin as she never had a chance to act, but what is confusing is why in the holy hell did the talented Omi Vaidya and Chitrangada agree to do this movie.

Each time I thought of running out of the movie hall my legs ran out of blood watching Bruna's cleavage, Deepika's long legs and Chitrangada shake her booty.

The Desi Boyz had nothing Desi in them.Dont waste your money on the Boyz. Rocco and Hunter are no match to The Real Desi Girl- "Silk" in her Dirty Picture in the next screen. (Check the review on Dirty Picture Review )

Think About It: Bollywood in all terms would have arrived if the movie was named "Desi Girlz" with Deepika and Chitrangada as strippers.