Kick - Well almost there

Woh movie bhi kya dekhna jisme Kick na ho pagli.

Just as we were recovering from the torture from Sajid Khan, another Sajid joins the bandwagon.

Salman a.k.a Robinhood Pandey is back as Devi Lal Singh a.k.a Devil in Kick . He enjoys getting his Kick with the thrill of flirting with danger, romance his psychiatrist girlfriend Shaina (Jacqueline Fernandez), taunt the topcop Himanshu (Randeep Hooda) and rob the baddie Firoz (Nawazuddin Siddique).

Everyone needs Kick in some form. When the teasers delivered high adrenaline rush than the movie, the only Kick Sajid Nadiadwala would ever get from his much hyped Kickass entertainer is the Kick on his ass.

Debutant director Sajid Nadiadwala and banker turned writer Chetan Bhagat fail in their departments of direction and screenplay with a half baked copy from the Original Telugu hit ‘Kick’ starring Ravi Teja and Ileana D’cruz .

Saurabh Shukla, Sanjai Mishra, Nawazuddin Siddique, Randeep Hooda and Mithun Chakraborty waste their talent for want of Kick.

As a tribute to John Mclane, Sajid Nadiadwala has choreographed action sequences from various Die Hard installments with the bus chase to jumping from the building with a hose pipe to killing a chopper with drums because the hero ran out of bullets. Job well done with 13 cars, 1 bus, 3 buildings and 1 chopper blown. But was that enough for us to get the kick. Nah! 

Adrenaline rush – low but Testosterone hits an all time high each time Jacqueline Fernandez and Nargis Fakhri scorch the screen with their grooves in Jumme Ki Raat and Yaar na Miley songs. After watching them, you will definitely end up saying, well I got my money's worth.

What I missed the most in the Hindi version were Salman going topless and the comedy sequences of Brahmanandam and Ali from the original telugu hit.

If you are looking for mental masturbation in the movie, sorry folks, this is not the movie for you. Kick offers the harebrained entertainment tailor made for hardcore Salman’s fans. If you are expecting anything more than this, skip the movie or watch the Telugu version for the real Kick.

And the Oscar goes to....

As always I was up and all ready for the most important event of the year for the world of Cinema. The 85th Academy Awards at "Dolby Theater" (erstwhile Kodak Theater) went as expected. And the wins were as already predicted in The Real Movie Review(or at least most of it)

Best Picture : Argo
Best Actor (Male) : Daniel Day Lewis (Lincoln)
Best Actor (Female) : Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings book)
Best Supporting Actor (Male) : Christoph waltz (Django Unchained)
Best Supporting Actor (Female) : Anne Hathaway (Les Miserables)
Best Director (Feature Film) : Ang Lee (Life of Pi)
Best Animated movie : Brave
Best Original Screenplay : Quentin Tarantino (Django Unchained)
Best Adapted Screenplay : Chris Terrio (Argo)
Best Visual effects : Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik - Jan De Boer and Donald.R. Elliot (Life of Pi)
Best Foreign language Film :Amour
Best Film Editing : William Goldenberg (Argo)
Best Cinematography : Claudia Miranda (Life of Pi)

Best Moments:

- Lovely ladies dazzling on the Red Carpet.

- It was the perfect tribute to 50 years of James Bond when Halle Berry said "The Music is inextricably linked to Bond as the martini, the exotic cars and Pussy Galore".

- Movie buffs are in for a bigger treat with the Academy Musuem slated to open in 2016 dedicated to the heritage and future of motion pictures.

But the highlight of the event is this year's host Seth MacFarlane's song "We saw your boobs", which listed Meryl Streep, Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman, Anne Hathaway, Charlize Theron, Naomi Watts, Kate winslet, Penelope Cruz, Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansen, Marisa Tomei,  Kirsten Stewart, Helen Hunt, Jodie Foster, Jessica Chastain, Hillary Swank who have displayed their lovely assets in their past movies. 

Many women around the world have tweeted that they were upset with this song. 

Who gives a damn about what these women around the world think or tweet. I thought it was funny.

Seth MacFarlane just gave me a long list of movies which I definitely want to watch.

A Good day to Die Hard

Wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time. Story of my life.
                                                                               - John Mclane

John Mclane is in the wrong movie with the wrong director and a wrong script this time.

As a die hard fan of the Die Hard series, I am heartbroken. The fifth installment is the worst of the series. Thanks to the weak storyline, dumb villains and real insane action sequences.

Every action movie needs a good villain. A Good Day to Die Hard has none. The villains are dumb and then they die (I can hear Hans Gruber and Simon Gruber laughing in the skies at these guys). All the earlier 4 installments had a cool, calculative negative character each, who were always one step ahead of John Mclane with their evil plans which made me fall in love with the characters.

John Mclane is one of the best characters ever created in the world of Cinema (all thanks to the genius John McTiernan). Skip Woods story missed the whole essence of the character buildup of John Mclane, an every day cop who ends up chasing the bad guys because of his wrong timing. John Mclane is not a superhero. The earlier movies were fun with watching him get caught in the odd situation, get wounded, be vulnerable and them come out victorious with the Mclane charm which was completely missing in Die Hard 5

The only thing I enjoyed in the movie was the 10 minute car chase sequence with cars being blown and thrown into air in the middle of a traffic jam. Sadly, the rest of the movie sucks with a weak storyline and nonsensical action sequences. Bruce willis still has the charm of John Mclane, but the movie doesnot live upto the standards. You will be blown by the stupidity of Skip Woods (Writer) and John Moore (Director). I missed the old school action of fire hose swing, air duct crawl, kill a helicopter with a car, throw a man down the elevator shaft, fight bare feet on glass, use fire extinguisher as a missile which only John McTiernan (Director of Die Hard- 1 and Die Hard with Vengeance) or Renny Hall (Director of Die Hard 2) or even Len Wiseman (director of Die Hard 4) could deliver.

25 years of the series and I will not let it Die with this movie and in this fashion. Bruce Willis - get the earlier directors to work on the 6th installment with a better storyline, a worthy villain and old school action. 

Listen up Skip Woods and John Moore - Yippee-Ki-Yay - Mother F*****s!! 

Oscar Fever 2013

Django Unchained

Here's another of Quentin Tarantino's cult classics added to my movie collection. Jamie Foxx as the slave turned cowboy "Django", Christoph waltz as the eccentric German dentist Dr.King Schultz, Kerry washington as Django's wife Broomhilda, Leonardo as the racist Calvin Candie, and Samuel Jackson as Stephen /Uncle Tom deliver what's worthy of being in a Tarantino's classic.

A revenge story set in 19th century where the "N" word appears in every single dialogue. Schultz and Django team up to save Broomhilda from the racist Calvin Candie and Stephen (Uncle Tom). If you are the type which enjoyed the dark humour and gory scenes from Tarantino's earlier movies like Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs and Kill Bill, then you are in for a treat with this Original Screenplay.

Oscar 2013 - I predict
Best Original Screenplay - Quentin Tarantino
Best Supporting Actor - Christoph waltz

Lincoln

If Django had an abusive usage of "N" word, Steven Spielberg tells the story of the great man who changed the history for Black people and slaves. Daniel Day Lewis gives a splendid performance as Abraham Lincoln with an exquisite charm. Watch the deadly combination of two brilliant creative personalities - Steven Speilberg and Daniel Day Lewis and history is rewritten.


Oscar 2013 - I predict
Best Director - Steven Spielberg
Best Actor - Daniel Day Lewis

Argo

Brilliant and Nail biting. Supremely talented Ben Affleck tells the story of Tony Mendez, a CIA agent and his most unorthodox method of making a fake movie called  " Argo" to rescue Americans trapped in Tehran.If you are looking for thrilling entertainment, then Argo is for you.


Oscar 2013 - I predict
Best Film

Les Miserables

Tom Hooper excels in making a musical drama come alive on large screen. Based on Victor Hugo's novel by the same name, the story of Jean Valjean an ex-convict who becomes mayor of a town in France. The story spans 17 years and is a great musical experience if you have patience for nearly 3 hours.


Oscar 2013 - I predict
Best Supporting Actress - Anne Hathaway

Silver Linings Playbook

Impressive piece of filmmaking by David O Russell and by the lead characters Bradley Cooper and Jeniffer Lawrence. A story which says that every single one of us have a screwed up life, atleast a little. Based on the novel by Mathew Quick, Bradley and Jennifer deliver stellar performances in this beautiful romantic storyline. Jennifer with her aggressive character and yet delicate will leave you wanting more of her. But the surprise package of the movie is Bradley who displays a wide range of emotions from anger, fear, stress and love.


Oscar 2013 - I predict
Best Actress - Jennifer Lawrence

BAFTA - 2013

And the race has begun....

The 66th British Academy Film Awards at the Royal Opera House in London , also known as BAFTA's and usually referred as a rehearsal to the Oscars race went just as expected with few suprises 

And the Academy of Motion Pictures were snubbed again with ARGO scooping 3 of the prestigious awards of Best Director to the supremely talented Ben Affleck, Best Movie and Best Editing. 

Jennifer Lawrence lost to the well deserved Emanuelle Riva in the best actress category.

And for the first time ever - James Bond makes it to the list of BAFTA awards with Skyfall winning the Best British Picture of the year.

Its raining wardrobe malfunction - Anne Hathaway at Les Miserables Premiere, Jennifer Lawrence at SAG awards, Gemma Chen and Marion Cottilard attracted all the shutterbags this time.

BAFTA 2013 - Winners List

Outstanding British Film - Skyfall

Best Makeup and Hair - Lisa Westscott - Les Miserables

Best Animation - Brave

Best Editing - William Goldenberg - Argo

Best Original Screenplay - Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

Best Supporting Actor - Christoph Waltz , Django Unchained

Best Supporting Actress - Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables

Best Adapted Screenplay - David O Russell - Silver Linings Playbook

Best Actor - Daniel Day Lewis - Lincoln

Best Actress - Emanuelle Riva , Amour

Best Director - Ben Affleck - Argo

Best Movie - Argo

Road to the Oscars has been cleared for the stars to descend. Dont miss it live from Kodak Theater 2 weeks from now.

Golden Globe Awards 2013

"Tonight I feel like prom queen. I am… single. Yes I am, I am single. No, I'm kidding. But I mean, I'm not really kidding, but I'm kind of kidding."   
                                                                                                                       - Jodie Foster

The 70th Golden Globe awards by Hollywood Foreign Press Association is a mock drill to the final race at the Oscars and was a small first course treat served of an overall meal to be enjoyed in the coming days.

New hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey upheld the culture of Golden Globes with some of their best lines as they singled out the talented artists:

"You can smell the pills from here" - Amy on the atmosphere of the room

"Only at the Golden Globes do the beautiful people of film rub shoulders with the rat-faced people in television"

"Quentin Tarantino is here, the star of all my sexual nightmares" 

"Meryl Streep is not here tonight. She has the flu, and I hear she's AMAZING in it"

3 time Golden Globe host Ricky Gervais was at the receiving end - 

"Ricky Gervais is not here tonight, because he is no longer in show business"

“As we learned from Ricky Gervais, when you run afoul with the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, they ask you to host the Golden Globes two more times” 

Katheryn Bigelow wasn't spared either and the audience were in a shock when Tina said

"When it comes to torture, I trust the woman who spent three years married to James Cameron" 

Amy and Tina ensured Anne Hathaway would remember her embarrassing wardrobe malfunction at Les Miserable premiere and her Oscar host stint

"I have not seen someone so alone and abandoned like that since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars" 

"Well, she'll never make it in porn." Amy said, "I don't think she has plans to do porn, Amy," to which her co-host replied, "None of us have plans to do porn, Tina." 

Though I personally missed 3 time host Ricky Gervais, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey hit the bulls eye as hosts of 70th Golden Globe Awards.

And it was yet again a treat to the eyes as the Hollywood bombshells flaunted their long legs and svelte figures in their body hugging designer clothing with slits in all the "right places"

Golden Globes mocked at the Oscars as the exceptionally talented underdog Ben Affleck was honoured as the Best Director and Argo as the Best Picture And Amy said “Ben’s first two movies took place in Boston, but he moved this one to Iran because he wanted to film somewhere that was friendlier to outsiders.”

And Jodie Foster's moving speech for receiving Cecil B Demille award for Lifetime achievment was one of the best I have heard in a longtime. Believe you me when I say that it was "Legendary".

Major Golden Globe winners:

Supporting Actor, Movie:  Christoph Waltz, "Django Unchained."

Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Maggie Smith, "Downton Abbey."

Miniseries or Movie: "Game Change."

Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Julianne Moore, "Game Change."

Actor, Drama: Damian Lewis, "Homeland."

Series, Drama: "Homeland."

Original Score: Mychael Danna, "Life of Pi."

Original Song: "Skyfall" (music and lyrics by Adele and Paul Epworth), "Skyfall."

Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Kevin Costner, "Hatfields & McCoys."

Actress, Musical or Comedy: Jennifer Lawrence, "Silver Linings Playbook."

Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Ed Harris, "Game Change."

Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway, "Les Miserables."

Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino, "Django Unchained."

Actor, Musical or Comedy: Don Cheadle, "House of Lies."

Foreign Language: "Amour."

Actress, Drama: Claire Danes, "Homeland."

Animated Film: "Brave."

Actress, Musical or Comedy: Lena Dunham, "Girls."

Director: Ben Affleck, "Argo."

Series, Musical or Comedy: "Girls."

Actor, Musical or Comedy: Hugh Jackman, "Les Miserables."

Picture, Musical or Comedy: "Les Miserables."

Actress, Drama: Jessica Chastain, "Zero Dark Thirty."

Actor, Drama: Daniel Day-Lewis, "Lincoln."

Picture, Drama: "Argo."

 

A retreat to all movie hungry souls.

Put aside all your daily stress, Hollywood has a vast variety on their menu to satisfy the movie hungry souls to the fullest.

Dabangg 2 - Stupidity revisited

Everyone is stupid sometimes, some raise it to an art form.

Stupidity out Stupidity in or should I say Abhinav Kashyap out Arbaaz Khan in (AK out AK in)

Salman Khan uruf Chulbul Pandey uruf Robinhood Pandey uruf Kungfu Pandey is back. He and Sonakshi Sinha uruf Rajjo have moved to Kanpur to achieve "bigger things" in life. His step father (Vinod Khanna uruf Pandeyji) and step brother (Arbaaz Khan uruf Makhee Pandey) move in with him. Baddie of Kanpur (Prakash Rai uruf Baccha Thakur) and his brothers, Deepak Dobriyal uruf Genda Thakur and Nikitan Dheer uruf Chunni Thakur threaten Chulbul Pandey's family. Kungfu Pandey in his inimitable style kills all the baddies.

Now that’s a very stupid story by Dilip Shukla again. But I did enjoy the stupidity of the movie. Arbaaz doesnot put any effort to make the movie any better than the earlier one. Its a dejavu all over again with the action sequences. But mind you, you are in for a treat with Malaika and Kareena's pelvic thrusts (this part is worth your money and time). You will not be able to take your eyes off them when they swing to the words“Zandu Balm and Fevicol”. I would love them to be my Zandu Balm and Fevicol anyday. 

And just when I thought Sallu never went topless during the movie, the all knowing and the mind reading Shirt appears on the screen. The shirt has mastered the art of getting off Sallu Bhai's body at the right time. 

The madness and stupidity of Dabangg worked because of cheesy dialogues like “Chedi Singh hum tum me itne ched karunga ki tu conphuzz ho jaoge ki saas kaha se le aur pade kaha se”. (Check the http://chikku-moviebuff.blogspot.in/2010/09/dabangg-abhi-tak-sab-to-nilaya-hai-ab.html here). I missed those cheesy dialogues in the sequel. 

The nonsense ends with Chedi singh's brother's introduction making way for Dabangg 3. 

Zandu balm - Sold, Fevicol - Sold. I can't wait for another Indian product to be marketed by these sexy sirens.

The movie offers nothing new, but is sure to provide entertainment. Leave your brains at home, you wont need them for this movie. 

After the movie you will have the same look as Sonakshi and Malaika while Sallu bhai has a blast.