Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol (Tom Cruise has lost it)

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves a grinding torture for 2 hours in your favourite movie hall.
                                                 -Agent Ethan Hunt

Tom Cruise has completely lost it. He makes it a Mission Impossible for us to watch the worst of the installments of the MI-series. The action sequences have been conceptualized to the minutest of the detail, beautifully shot and adeptly edited to make you sit at the edge of your seat. As the action sequences push you to the edge of the seat, the lame dialogues and forced sub plots force you to walk away from the dragging storyline.

Action sequence start from the rooftop of a building in Budapest and moves on to the prison in Moscow and rides on the windows of the world's tallest building in Dubai before ending in a parking lot supposedly located in India. Tom Cruise has forgotten everything from choosing the right director (John Woo was the best in MI-2), to the right co-producer (Paula Wagner) to the right sidekicks (Ving Rhames appears only in the end for less than 2 minutes) except the best action team.

Brad Bird is the worst choice as the director. His animation movies Ratatouile and Incredibles are one of my favourite movies, but his first action venture doesnot live upto the hype created. The next worst choice is Anil Kapoor as the Billionaire from Mumbai. Even the gloves used to climb the world's tallest building seems to have been picked from the china market.

Mr.Hunt, Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves in getting John Woo back as the Director, Paula Wagner as the Co-Producer and Ving Rhames as the sidekick.  And Every search for a hero must begin with something which every hero requires, a villain. So, choose your villain wisely next time.

Watching MI-4 was Mission Impossible for me. The movie poster says, No Plan, No Backup, No Choice. Well you have  a choice, stay back home, rent MI-2 dvd and enjoy the adrenaline rush.


Think About It: If Tom Cruise ends up choosing the wrong crew again for MI-5, the franchisee will self-destruct in the next 5 seconds.

The Dirty Picture - Entertainment, Entertainment and Entertainment

Is Sex Dirty? Only if it's done right.

                                                  - Woody Allen

No wonder the movie has been named "The Dirty Picture", as Vidya did it right this time. (Remember she had also slept with her co-characters in Parineeta, Ekalavya, Paa and Ishqiya, but had never been called Dirty)

The movie is loosely based on story of Silk Smitha, The Item Girl of South Indian Movies. Vidya is no match to the sensation of Sleaze and Seduction which only Silk could create with such ease. Men would go crazy each time Silk bit her lips (her signature style) or when she seduced her co-stars with her killing looks. Yesteryear Item Girls Silk Smitha, Disco Shanti and Jayamalini will always remain my favourites.

Having said that, there are only 3 ingredients which guarantees the success of this movie

• Vidya Silk Balan
• Vidya Silk Balan 

And More

• Vidya Silk Balan

 You will fall in love with this Dirty Girl yet again as she gets into the character and delivers a powerhouse performance. You just cannot take your eyes off her as she puts the screen on fire with her voluptous figure, heavy bosom thumping and some very bold dialogue delivery. Only Vidya could have carried off this role with such conviction.

Vidya as Reshma (village girl) or as Silk (item girl) is the masala factor of the movie and the scenes she is not present tastes bland. The ever dependable Naserrudin as Suryakant, The Superstar, makes up for all the intimate scenes he lost in Ishqiya. Tushar Kapoor as Naseruddin's brother has nothing much to offer. Emraan for a change has done a good job.

The bold dialogues by Rajat Arora complement the sensuous avatar of Vidya. Ooh-La-La song makes up for the otherwise average music by Vishal-Shekar.

Vidya Silk Balan gives every item girl in Bollywood run for their money when she dances draped in a wet red saree. This is the paisa vasool scene of the movie.(Watch it to believe it).

Hope Vidya takes on more roles like this and gets more Dirty.

Get Dirty with this Dirty Girl. Its worth your money

Think About It:  Curves had almost vanished with most females wanting to get to Size Zero. Thanks to Vidya, Dangerous Curves will prevail again.

Desi Boyz- Disaster No.1

Most of you know David Dhawan as the King of Direction of Mindless comedies (most of which were called No.1). His No.1 "Production" is also a mindless comedy called 'Rohit Dhawan', who has been a No.1 disaster.


Like Father Like Son. Rohit Dhawan has given a movie with no logic, brainless comedy, 2 male strippers and 2 extremely hot chics (who i wish had been the strippers) and some unnecessary but foot tapping music by Pritam.

Rohit fails miserably in all the departments. He doesnot build on the characters and I never felt connected to any of the characters or the story. The Bollywood mantra says "More skin showed, more money earned". And the director makes a joke of himself with  skin show by Akshay and John as Rocco and Hunter, the male strippers. Rohit is a disaster in trying to develop the BROmance .Even Barney Stinson agrees that BROmance is the patented right of the Akhtars.

Akshay stresses that he is bankable in comedy acts, John reminds us that he cannot act in any genre, Deepika could have as well showed us more skin as she never had a chance to act, but what is confusing is why in the holy hell did the talented Omi Vaidya and Chitrangada agree to do this movie.

Each time I thought of running out of the movie hall my legs ran out of blood watching Bruna's cleavage, Deepika's long legs and Chitrangada shake her booty.

The Desi Boyz had nothing Desi in them.Dont waste your money on the Boyz. Rocco and Hunter are no match to The Real Desi Girl- "Silk" in her Dirty Picture in the next screen. (Check the review on Dirty Picture Review )

Think About It: Bollywood in all terms would have arrived if the movie was named "Desi Girlz" with Deepika and Chitrangada as strippers.

The Dirty Picture - Trailer(Vidya Silk Balan is back)

The toughest competitor for Munni and Sheila is back....Vidya Silk Balan.

Vidya as Silk Smitha is very high on oomph in the First Look of "The Dirty Picture". With some bold and steamy scenes, she enjoys flaunting her assets in every frame. Nasseruddin Shah is enjoying what he missed in Ishqiya. Enjoy the trailer and book your tickets in advance for a hot and steamy ride with "Vidya Silk Balan" on Dec 2nd 2011.

The Dirty Picture - Silk and Curves (Sakkath Hot Maga)

Its raining gifts for “Man”kind in 2011, Get set to unwrap the latest Hot Gift, Silk and Curves…

                                         



Sakkath Hot Maga...Just Enjoy Maadi



Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara - Live life to the fullest

Akash Malhotra (Aamir Khan) in DCH: “Waise Bhi Perfection Ko Improve Karna Mushkil Hota Hai”
Farhan Akhtar: “Challenge Accepted”

Stunning Location, superb cast with 3 Male buddies (Abhay, Hrithik and Farhan), a super cool hot chic (Katrina) with a mind of her own (a rare species among women), a fiancee (Kalki) who is over possessive, annoying, ever suspicious, judgemental and with no mind of her own (Most females fall into this category), adventure sports and charming countryside of Spain superbly captured, hummable music and wacky dialogues and some great, comfortable and natural acting. And Perfection was improved after 10 years. And Barney Stinson said “Señores y Señoras it is LEGEN….wait for it….DARY”.

Zoya does to Spain in ZNMD what Farhan did to Goa in DCH. The Underwater deep diving, Sky diving, Tomatino festival and Bull race makes me pack my bags and leave to Spain. Ever dependable Abhay is as comfortable as ever, Hrithik as a grumpy investment banker definitely is trying very hard to get away from his comfort zone and try different characters. But the highlight of the movie is Farhan Akhtar. The movie has Farhan’s prints all over. He excels in dialogue writing, dialogue delivery, and is great as a freestyle flirt with awesome comic timing. He is very comfortable when he is invited to a shower with Katrina’s Spanish friend (see it to believe). If Senorita in España allows guys to enter the bathroom while they are showering, I have already learnt to ask “¿Puedo entrar, Quiero ducha con usted”. Katrina’s character is one of a kind. The scene in which Katrina drives a bike to just liplock with Hrithik sealed the deal for me. These kind of cool chics are a rarity and how I wish one of them was in my life. Most women would easily associate themselves to Kalki’s character (It cannot get more annoying than this).

Zoya excels in screenplay and in capturing the Bromance without losing the focus on the emotional baggage carried by each character. Farhan proves once again that he is the best in depicting “Bwoyz will be Bwoyz”. DCH was about 3 childhood friends in their early 20’s (I and my friends were 23 in 2001) and ZNMD is again about 3 childhood friends in their early 30’s (Guess what we are 33 now). What are the odds that this is a very similar storyline of Me and my friends sans Katrina in our lives. I could associate to the characters as they were very close to my reality. Just like the movie we too have got rid of Kalkis from our lives and are in search of Katrina in our story because "Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara". Every guy who has very close male buddies would agree with me. Females (Kalkis), I doubt you would even appreciate this fact (not that it matters to us).

We are making a trip to Spain to find our Katrina or should I say “Estamos realizando un viaje a España para encontrar nuestro Katrina”. You in the meanwhile watch ZNMD, its worth every penny you pay

Pensar en eso: ¿Qué hacer cuando os encontréis con vuestros Katrina

Delhi Belly - Smell of Success

It was year 2000, in a boring MBA class I wrote these four lines

To be happy in life all you need is
Money, Money and more money,
Go out with a girl on a date,
And from time to time ease yourself and defecate.

I was unaware that these four lines would inspire the basic story line of the latest blockbuster Delhi Belly.

3 guys staying in a bachelor accommodation in Delhi are hungry for money, sex and food like any other regular guy. Tashi (Imran Khan) a journalist is engaged to Shenaz Treasurywala, a dumb and rich air hostess. Arup (Vir Das), a cartoonist, Tashi’s other roommate, shaves his head as his girlfriend readies to marry a software engineer from Canada. Nitin (Kunal Roy Kapoor), the 3rd bloke is a photographer for Tashi who likes to blackmail his randi premi house owner to save rent and likes to eat Tandoori chicken from the ball scratching roadside vendor and is currently experiencing Delhi Belly. All these 3 regular bachelors have a roller coaster ride with a classic case of mix up while delivering 2 packages. The package meant for the doctor is delivered to gangster Somayajulu (Vijay Raaz) and the fun starts. Shenaz and the three guys are on the hitlist of Somayajulu as he realizes that this shit has happened to him. Bhaag DK Bose aptly runs in the background when all three run for their lives as they get into deeper shit. Then with help of Menaka (Poorna Jaganathan), Tashi’s friend, they pencher the gangsters and get out of the deep shit before it hits the roof and comes crashing down.

The colourful Lingo and comic situations are the USP of the movie. You would realize that you f*&^ing speak just the same way as all those characters in the movie. It’s our day to day language in every dialogue and most of them are hilarious. A special mention to Vir Das’s awesome dialogue of what his girlfriend did to him and in return what he did to her during the song sequence of “Jaa Chudail”. I could not control my laughter to my favorite dialogue by Vijay Raaz’s sidekick in the hotel.

Gangster knocks on the door
Voice from the room: Who is it?
Gangster: Sir, Looondree

Everyone in the movie gets their share of screen space, but it is Kunal Kapoor’s Butt show in the opening scene which cracks the deal for the movie. The screen space was best occupied by Shenaz Treasurywala’s treasure which is not in her chest but on her chest. Vijay Raaz and his chaman chuti$e sidekicks are amazing in every scene they appear. A laugh every 30 seconds is guaranteed. Kunal, Vir and Imran as regular bachelors hungry for money, sex and food have done a fantastic job and have no qualms using F&*^ in almost every dialogue they say. Every guy who has stayed in a bachelor accommodation will relate to them. All characters live up to the "A" certification, Kunal plays confidently with a wh0re, Vir Das doesnot blink an eye while talking about BJ and OS, Shenaz reminds Imran to shave his beard in the OS scene, Poorna thoroughly enjoys her liplock with Imran .

And finally Aamir khan as Disco Fighter with his pelvic thrusts penchers the success ride of Munni and Sheela when he says “Shake that biscuit Baby, Shake it for me” in the item number I hate you (like I love you) along with Anusha.

Music by Ram Sampath is very catchy, Bhaag DK Bose, Switty, Jaa Chudail, Pencher and I hate you (like I love you) used for promotion by Aamir, the promotion specialist, have done wonders for even for a tried and tested storyline. Director Abhinay cleverly ends the movie suggesting a sequel. And with an “A” certificate, I wish to see more than cleavage and belly button of all those Swittys in the sequel. 26.3 crores in the opening weekend speaks volumes about what the audience want to see and hear. Hope the trend is here to stay.

I had fun watching this crazy movie. All adults (definitely not by age ) who want to have fun while watching movies and are yet to watch this movie, run to your nearest movie hall singing

"BHAAG DK BOSE DK BOSE DK BOSE BHAAG BHAAG DK BOSE DK BHAAG"
All other kids please wait till your favourite cartoon movie Ra.one is released.

Think About it: All "F" word haters ban calendars at your place as every week after Tuesday even your calendar says W T F !