BAFTA - 2013

And the race has begun....

The 66th British Academy Film Awards at the Royal Opera House in London , also known as BAFTA's and usually referred as a rehearsal to the Oscars race went just as expected with few suprises 

And the Academy of Motion Pictures were snubbed again with ARGO scooping 3 of the prestigious awards of Best Director to the supremely talented Ben Affleck, Best Movie and Best Editing. 

Jennifer Lawrence lost to the well deserved Emanuelle Riva in the best actress category.

And for the first time ever - James Bond makes it to the list of BAFTA awards with Skyfall winning the Best British Picture of the year.

Its raining wardrobe malfunction - Anne Hathaway at Les Miserables Premiere, Jennifer Lawrence at SAG awards, Gemma Chen and Marion Cottilard attracted all the shutterbags this time.

BAFTA 2013 - Winners List

Outstanding British Film - Skyfall

Best Makeup and Hair - Lisa Westscott - Les Miserables

Best Animation - Brave

Best Editing - William Goldenberg - Argo

Best Original Screenplay - Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

Best Supporting Actor - Christoph Waltz , Django Unchained

Best Supporting Actress - Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables

Best Adapted Screenplay - David O Russell - Silver Linings Playbook

Best Actor - Daniel Day Lewis - Lincoln

Best Actress - Emanuelle Riva , Amour

Best Director - Ben Affleck - Argo

Best Movie - Argo

Road to the Oscars has been cleared for the stars to descend. Dont miss it live from Kodak Theater 2 weeks from now.

Golden Globe Awards 2013

"Tonight I feel like prom queen. I am… single. Yes I am, I am single. No, I'm kidding. But I mean, I'm not really kidding, but I'm kind of kidding."   
                                                                                                                       - Jodie Foster

The 70th Golden Globe awards by Hollywood Foreign Press Association is a mock drill to the final race at the Oscars and was a small first course treat served of an overall meal to be enjoyed in the coming days.

New hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey upheld the culture of Golden Globes with some of their best lines as they singled out the talented artists:

"You can smell the pills from here" - Amy on the atmosphere of the room

"Only at the Golden Globes do the beautiful people of film rub shoulders with the rat-faced people in television"

"Quentin Tarantino is here, the star of all my sexual nightmares" 

"Meryl Streep is not here tonight. She has the flu, and I hear she's AMAZING in it"

3 time Golden Globe host Ricky Gervais was at the receiving end - 

"Ricky Gervais is not here tonight, because he is no longer in show business"

“As we learned from Ricky Gervais, when you run afoul with the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, they ask you to host the Golden Globes two more times” 

Katheryn Bigelow wasn't spared either and the audience were in a shock when Tina said

"When it comes to torture, I trust the woman who spent three years married to James Cameron" 

Amy and Tina ensured Anne Hathaway would remember her embarrassing wardrobe malfunction at Les Miserable premiere and her Oscar host stint

"I have not seen someone so alone and abandoned like that since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars" 

"Well, she'll never make it in porn." Amy said, "I don't think she has plans to do porn, Amy," to which her co-host replied, "None of us have plans to do porn, Tina." 

Though I personally missed 3 time host Ricky Gervais, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey hit the bulls eye as hosts of 70th Golden Globe Awards.

And it was yet again a treat to the eyes as the Hollywood bombshells flaunted their long legs and svelte figures in their body hugging designer clothing with slits in all the "right places"

Golden Globes mocked at the Oscars as the exceptionally talented underdog Ben Affleck was honoured as the Best Director and Argo as the Best Picture And Amy said “Ben’s first two movies took place in Boston, but he moved this one to Iran because he wanted to film somewhere that was friendlier to outsiders.”

And Jodie Foster's moving speech for receiving Cecil B Demille award for Lifetime achievment was one of the best I have heard in a longtime. Believe you me when I say that it was "Legendary".

Major Golden Globe winners:

Supporting Actor, Movie:  Christoph Waltz, "Django Unchained."

Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Maggie Smith, "Downton Abbey."

Miniseries or Movie: "Game Change."

Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Julianne Moore, "Game Change."

Actor, Drama: Damian Lewis, "Homeland."

Series, Drama: "Homeland."

Original Score: Mychael Danna, "Life of Pi."

Original Song: "Skyfall" (music and lyrics by Adele and Paul Epworth), "Skyfall."

Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Kevin Costner, "Hatfields & McCoys."

Actress, Musical or Comedy: Jennifer Lawrence, "Silver Linings Playbook."

Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Ed Harris, "Game Change."

Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway, "Les Miserables."

Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino, "Django Unchained."

Actor, Musical or Comedy: Don Cheadle, "House of Lies."

Foreign Language: "Amour."

Actress, Drama: Claire Danes, "Homeland."

Animated Film: "Brave."

Actress, Musical or Comedy: Lena Dunham, "Girls."

Director: Ben Affleck, "Argo."

Series, Musical or Comedy: "Girls."

Actor, Musical or Comedy: Hugh Jackman, "Les Miserables."

Picture, Musical or Comedy: "Les Miserables."

Actress, Drama: Jessica Chastain, "Zero Dark Thirty."

Actor, Drama: Daniel Day-Lewis, "Lincoln."

Picture, Drama: "Argo."

 

A retreat to all movie hungry souls.

Put aside all your daily stress, Hollywood has a vast variety on their menu to satisfy the movie hungry souls to the fullest.

Dabangg 2 - Stupidity revisited

Everyone is stupid sometimes, some raise it to an art form.

Stupidity out Stupidity in or should I say Abhinav Kashyap out Arbaaz Khan in (AK out AK in)

Salman Khan uruf Chulbul Pandey uruf Robinhood Pandey uruf Kungfu Pandey is back. He and Sonakshi Sinha uruf Rajjo have moved to Kanpur to achieve "bigger things" in life. His step father (Vinod Khanna uruf Pandeyji) and step brother (Arbaaz Khan uruf Makhee Pandey) move in with him. Baddie of Kanpur (Prakash Rai uruf Baccha Thakur) and his brothers, Deepak Dobriyal uruf Genda Thakur and Nikitan Dheer uruf Chunni Thakur threaten Chulbul Pandey's family. Kungfu Pandey in his inimitable style kills all the baddies.

Now that’s a very stupid story by Dilip Shukla again. But I did enjoy the stupidity of the movie. Arbaaz doesnot put any effort to make the movie any better than the earlier one. Its a dejavu all over again with the action sequences. But mind you, you are in for a treat with Malaika and Kareena's pelvic thrusts (this part is worth your money and time). You will not be able to take your eyes off them when they swing to the words“Zandu Balm and Fevicol”. I would love them to be my Zandu Balm and Fevicol anyday. 

And just when I thought Sallu never went topless during the movie, the all knowing and the mind reading Shirt appears on the screen. The shirt has mastered the art of getting off Sallu Bhai's body at the right time. 

The madness and stupidity of Dabangg worked because of cheesy dialogues like “Chedi Singh hum tum me itne ched karunga ki tu conphuzz ho jaoge ki saas kaha se le aur pade kaha se”. (Check the http://chikku-moviebuff.blogspot.in/2010/09/dabangg-abhi-tak-sab-to-nilaya-hai-ab.html here). I missed those cheesy dialogues in the sequel. 

The nonsense ends with Chedi singh's brother's introduction making way for Dabangg 3. 

Zandu balm - Sold, Fevicol - Sold. I can't wait for another Indian product to be marketed by these sexy sirens.

The movie offers nothing new, but is sure to provide entertainment. Leave your brains at home, you wont need them for this movie. 

After the movie you will have the same look as Sonakshi and Malaika while Sallu bhai has a blast.

I am back

The Yuppie Nuremberg defense forced me for the past many weeks to say, " I haven't blogged. I was busy paying for my mortgage."

Then came Skyfall -

007 : Everybody needs a hobby

Silva : What's yours?

007 : Resurrection

Dammit so is mine. 

Skyfall - no gadgets, no fun

Gangs of Wasseypur - I am a hunter she want to see my gun, When I pull it out boy the woman start to run

The Expendables - Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Jason Statham gang up against Van Damme

Aiyya - What a shame

The Dark Knight rises

Eega (Makkhi) surprises

Argo thrills

Talaash grips

English Vinglish clicks

Michael Jordan plays ball, Charles Manson kills people, I review movies.

Watch this space for The Real Movie Reviews.

The Avengers - Kick Ass movie

Captain America: Stark, We need a plan of attack!
Tony Stark: I have a plan: Attack!

The Avengers. It's what they call themselves. Sorta like a team. Earth's Mightiest Heroes type thing. Let's do a head count here. Thor, the demigod. Captian America ,a super soldier, living legend who kinda lives up to the legend. Hulk, a man with breathtaking anger management issues. Black Widow, the super hot chic and SHIELD Agent , Master Assasin Hawk Eye. And finally the genius,billionaire, playboy and philanthropist called Iron Man.

Then we have Loki, Thor's brother, the evil mastermind who manages to piss every single of the Super Heroes.

There's a lot of things we need to be grateful to America. The Avengers definitely tops the list. With groundwork on introduction of the Superheroes already done in Marvel's earlier movies, Joss Wheldon takes movie watching to a different level. You would eagerly be waiting for your Superheroes to enter the scene.


A kick ass movie with a very basic plot. And its exactly what it needs to be. This movie is about how the team comes together to save Earth and kick the shit out of Loki and his alien army. 

The cynical Stark's (Robert Downey Jr)best lines alongwith Captain America's (Steve Rogers) idealism alongwith Thor (Chris Hemworth) lighting up the sky will blow your mind. But the most fascinating part was to watch the svelte and curvy figure of Black Widow (Scarlett Johannsen) in some of the best fight scenes in 3D. But the best "Yeah" moment is delivered by Hulk (Mark Ruffalo). And to watch Robin Scherbatsky(Cobie Smulders) as a SHIELD agent in body hugging clothing in 3D, believe you me its worth your money.

If you are the kind who enjoys the great pleasures of life delivered by movies, Avengers is definitely for you. Laughter, excitement, desire, awe and entertainment....all in one.


Suit up and watch the half dozen Superheroes kick ass.

Vicky Donor - The Creative Sperm

Remember that all men are millionaires at least by their sperm count, the funniest thing is even these millions are spent for a girl.

I have wasted many millions. I could have created a China by now. How many millions have you wasted?

Vicky Donor stands apart from the nonsensical Bollywood movies. A great feat achieved by Shoojit Sircar with pure creativity and being sensitive to the issue discussed.

A bold step taken by Ayushman to debut in a movie which is backed only by the strengths of the story. he does more than justice to his role as Vicky Arora the sperm donor. Ever dependable Annu kapoor as the Doctor running Infertile clinic delivers some of the best lines and has a great sense of comic timing. Vicky's love interest is the bong Banker Ashima (Yami Gautam....believe you me she should be called Yummy Gautam).

Shoojit deals the subject with great care and throws in a right amount of comedy to keep you glued to the seats. Vicky's grandmother has some of the best lines delivered which will make you ROFL. The punjabi and bengali family meet to discuss Vicky and Ashima's marriage is one of the best scenes among many.

Music is catchy. Fast Punjabi music and the slow romantic track mix well with the storyline.

 

John Abraham maybe the worst actor sperm Bollywood has got, but has produced one of the best movies in the history of Bollywood. maybe he should reconsider his role in Bollywood.

Go ahead and have a blast at the movies.

And to all wasting your millions, go to the clinic, watch free porn...and then....udhar shoot karne ka and store karne ka

Housefull - 2

"I dont need a script. I know what the audience wants."
                                                                        - Sajid Khan
I used to adore Sajid Khan as a host of Ikke pe Ikka on Zee where he used to ridicule every other director in Bollywood who had been copying shamelessly from Hollywood and South Indian movies. (Mind you both Farah and Sajid were yet to debut as directors then)

Ikke pe Ikka as a show has closed and come 2007, he shamelessly copies from Three men and a baby and calls it Heyy Babyy. 2010, he continues to be shameless and copies Kadhala Kadhala and calls it Housefull.

2012, Sajid Khan has completed his course in Shamelessness with distinction. Banda Paramashivam is now called Housefull 2 by Nadiadwala and Sajid Khan.

2 step brothers and their wives, four childhood friends and their four girlfriends, Jagga Daaku alias JD, a marriage broker, an ex- police inspector and Anarkali, all in one palatial house in London and force-fed comedy in every scene.
No matter how silly the jokes are, laugher is guaranteed by Akshay and Johnny Lever with some great comic timing. Akshay's imitating Mithunda each time he says "Jai Bhadrakali" will surely tickle your funny bone. Akshay as Ranjit's son and Ranjit as Dr.Ranjit Vasana K Pujari (The..rapist) offer some freshness to the movie. John, Ritesh, Shreyas, Rishi, Randhir and Boman are just puppets in the hands of the director with the most silliest of the storyline.

Music by Sajid-Wajid is young and catchy. Anarkali, Do you know and Right Now are a definite hit among DJs across the discotheques.

All the sexy female characters would undoubtedly be the front runners for best skin show. Our own sexy Munni is now Anarkali and I donot mind getting badnaam with her in the disco. Asin and Jaqueline put fire on screen grinding their ass against their boy friends in the song Right Now. Zarine Khan ...The Babushka is nominated for best bosom thumping award. I couldnot take my eyes off Shahzahn in two piece in the song Do u know.

Sajid proves once again that he know exactly what the audience wants. Nonsensical storyline, lots of silly gags and some great skin show by sexy chics.

Go on, say "Jai Bhadrakali" and ogle at the sexy chics in the movie among the dirty dozen. A guaranteed stressbuster and worth watch atleast once.