Teen Patti-Wrong Cards dealt

Last month I proposed to a very beautiful girl I have known from some time now. I asked her about the chances of me and her ending up together. She said “The chances are not that good. The chance of it working is more like One out of a Million”. And I am super excited coz it means I still have a chance.

That’s Probability for you.

The probability of 2 ladies making a thriller and hitting the right chord is also One out of a million (all female readers- if you refute this, name a good thriller directed by a female). Both Leena Yadav (Director) and Ambika Hinduja (Producer) should have realized it by now that they should just stick to chic flicks and give competition to their female counter-part called Karan Johar. Leena Yadav has been saying in her defense that Teen Patti is not a rip off of the Hollywood movie “21”. Of course it is not a rip-off but it is a very bad rip-off.

First half is filled with algebraic equations floating on the screen. Second half is really not worth mentioning except for the Mexican babe’s item number – Neeyat Kharaab hai. Venkat Subramaniam (AB), a mathematics genius, and Ben Kingsley meet in London to discuss AB’s research paper on Probability. Earlier in India, AB’s research paper on probability theory is rejected and he decides to use it on the card game “Flush” or “Teen Patti” with the help of his students and his lecturer friend (Madhavan). Money starts flowing in till they are blackmailed by a mysterious phone call. This is where Leena falters and makes a hotchpotch of what could have been a great thriller. I wish that the call was from “Karthik” from Screen No.2. It would have been a much better plot.

Big names like Big B and Bald B (Ben Kingsley) alone cannot sell the movie. 90% of the job was already done if the original script had been retained. At the end of the movie all I could say was “What cr@p was that?”

I have a suggestion to the director. Just follow these simple steps while copying a thriller:

Step 1: Stick to the original script.
Step 2: Strictly no philosophy lessons to be included.
Step 3: Bad guys always win in the end.
Step 4: If you cannot follow the above 3 steps, then start taking coaching classes from Sanjay Gupta (Maker of Kaante, Zinda and Musafir copied from Reservior Dogs, Oldboy and U turn).

Teen Patti is definitely not worth watching on big screen or even on the small screen. If you still want to watch the movie, pay only for first half of the movie. The probability of movie halls coming up with scheme is very high.

Think about it: Have you wondered why it’s always a South Indian who is a mathematics genius in all Hindi movies? That’s because in West, MNS and ShivSainiks can count only Yadavs and Khans, in North maths is restricted to counting number of Mayawati’s statues and in East counting doesn’t even exist (MNS would count them anyway).